ISMO
The world's only FREE weekly music magazine.
Issue 20: 18th January 1999
C O N T E N T S:
THE GOSSIPPING HEN: Wu Tang Clan, Public Enemy, Fatboy Slim, Athenrye
EDITED AND COMPILED BY Mr Slutto, Siggsworthy Craggs and Atilla the Hen
With contributions from The Sexiest lady in Cyberspace over in the US of A
T H E ~ G O S S I P I N G ~ H E N
EACH WEEK ATILLA - OUR INTREPID CAPON - REVEALS THE RESULTS OF A FEW DAYS SPENT HANGING AROUND IN BARS WITH CELEBRITIES, LISTENING AT WINDOWS, AND BLAGGING DRINKS OFF P.R. MEN
* ODB from Wu Tang Clan, one of the most notorious of the new generation of
Gangsta rappers was arrested this week for a firearms offence. Together with a mate,
or should we say one of his posse, he was stopped driving a truck with a defective
headlight one evening in New York. They then (allegedly) decided to take pot shots at
the gentlemen of the law who had stopped them. It were'nt like that in my day but
then again such things seem almost de rigeur as a career move these days...
* Those of you who have seen the bits so far released of the OMP movie "The
Owlman and Others" featuring our old mates Jon Downes, Maxine Pearson, Graham
Inglis and Richard Freeman will no doubt have noticed the inclusion of Fatboy Slim`s
rather wonderful "Rockefeller Skank". However it can now be announced that the
producers didn't just steal what was one of 1998`s biggest dance hits, but had the
permission, nay encouragement of Norman Cook (aka Fatboy Slim) himself. It is
rumoured that he may be joining the above mentioned, plus Roland Rivron and
(believe it or not) Reg Presley in what is bound to be one of the stupidest films of the
year.... if it ever gets finished!
* Meanwhile the figurative great grand-daddies of them all, Public Enemy have
enraged their record company by placing a vitriolic new song "Swindler`s List" on
their web page for fans to download. The song is described by those who have heard it
as a swingeing attack on the music business.
We couldn`t be bothered to go there to check it out, but will, no doubt get around to it
when we have time. If the Internet had been around twenty two years ago, we wonder
would The Sex Pistols have done the same thing with their song EMI?
* Talking of that - Virgin Records were bought by EMI some years ago and we have
always found it mildly amusing that the above mentioned song from the "Never Mind
the Bollocks" CD is now released (and re-released last month with groovy digital
enhancement folks) by none other than the record company it lampoons....
* A little birdie told us this week that ISMO faves Athenrye (featured artistes next week guys) have a new CD out. It is called "The Dying Rebel" and we look forward to reviewing it next week. There is also, or so we have ben informed, a live CD and video in the works, which should both be out in the spring. All we need to hear is that The Rottentrolls have got a fourth series and our metaphorical cup overfloweth......
W E I R D ~ S C E N E S ~ I N S I D E ~ T H E ~ G O L D M I N E
Peculiar music/art news from around the world
From the London Times 28 November 1998:
MPs to clash over Tintin's politics
THE French parliament has announced that it will host a debate next year on an
enduring political mystery: was Tintin, the beloved cartoon character, right-wing or
left-wing? Politicians from both sides of the political divide will argue over Tintin's
affiliation on February 3, but "Tintinophiles" are already trawling the 22 Tintin books
for evidence of the boy reporter's bias.
The debate in the National Assembly, organised by the 60 MPs who make up the
Tintin Parliamentary Fan Club, will feature two Socialist deputies, Jean-Marie Bockel
and Yann Galut, who will argue that Tintin is really a left-wing activist, and a centre-right coalition made up of one Gaullist and one centrist MP, Didier Quentin and André
Santini, arguing that his political instincts lie with the Right.
The right-wing debaters are likely to point out that in "Tintin in the Soviet Union" *,
the intrepid reporter reveals a deep distaste for Communism, and that his attitudes in
"Tintin in the Congo" are those of an old-fashioned colonial paternalist.
Their opponents on the Left, however, will say that in "Tintin and the Picaros" our
hero joins a group of left-wing South American guerrillas and helps to overthrow a
military dictatorship. In "The Red Sea Sharks", Tintin fights the black slave trade.
* Actually "Tintin in the land of the Soviets" but unlike the Old Thunderer we
usually try and check our facts
12/10/98 The Associated Press.
FORT LUPTON, Colo. (AP) For violating the Fort Lupton noise ordinance teens are
being ordered to listen to an hour of - GASP! - Gene Autry, Hank Williams Jr. or
Ludwig van Beethoven.
Municipal Judge Paul Sacco says he thinks that penalty is a better deterrent to playing
loud tunes than the $95 fine the law stipulates. "It isn't that we don't like their music,
it's that nobody should impose their musical preferences on anyone else," Sacco said.
The penalty is imposed on teens who plead guilty to violating the ordinance, which
forbids noise that can be heard 25 feet from a vehicle. Violators still must pay the $35
court fee, but are excused from the $60 ticket.
The program debuted Dec. 5 when eight violators sat in city council chambers for an
hour of music. They aren't allowed to leave the room for any reason, plug their ears or
complain. If they do that, they are subject to contempt charges.
"The looks were of surprise and I think some showed looks of amusement thinking
this isn't really happening," said Patrice Red Earth, clerk of the municipal court. She
created tapes for the session and included classical, bagpipe, old western and
Gregorian chant music.
"It is creative justice to the fullest, and I think the punishment is fitting the crime at
this point," she said. Sacco said the play list will vary through time depending on what
teens hate the most. "We'll weed out what they like," he said. Sacco said repeat
offenders might be forced to listen to his own personal recordings, which he considers
New Age or blues. Or worse, he said. "Maybe we'll put those kids in a room with
Barry Manilow for an hour."
O B I T U A R I E S
JOHN ADDISON
Movie, TV composer John Addison, dies. December 12, 1998
BENNINGTON, Vt. (AP) -- John Addison, the composer best known for his
Oscar- and Emmy-winning scores for movies and television, including the music
to "Tom Jones," has died at 78. Addison died Monday after suffering a stroke at
Southwestern Vermont Medical Center, said James Goldstone, a family friend.
Addison spent five years on the faculty of the Royal College of Music in London, and
his early compositions were primarily chamber works. He began composing for the
theater, movies and television in the 1950s, then won an Academy Award for his score
of the 1963 movie "Tom Jones'' and was nominated for another for "Sleuth.''
He won a British Academy Award for the 1977 movie "A Bridge Too Far'' and was
nominated for another for "Swashbuckler.'' He won his Emmy for the theme "Murder,
She Wrote.'' He also composed for London theater companies, including a score for
Laurence Olivier's staging of "Hamlet.'' He moved from California to Vermont with
his wife, Pamela, eight years ago, and continued to compose chamber and symphonic
pieces.
"Bassoon Concertina'' premiered last summer in Manchester, England, and he had just
completed a commissioned chamber piece several weeks ago. Addison is survived by
his wife, Pamela, a sister, two sons, one stepson, a daughter, a stepdaughter and six
grandchildren. Musical memorial services will be held later in Vermont and London,
Goldstone said.
JOHNNY MOORE
Drifters lead singer Johnny Moore dies at 64 - December 31, 1998
LONDON (AP) - Johnny Moore, lead singer for The Drifters on their 1960s hit
"Under The Boardwalk", has died in London, news reports said. He was 64. Moore, a
resident of England since The Drifters had a string of hits there in the mid-1970s, died
Wednesday while on his way to a hospital in London, The Guardian reported. No
cause of death was given.
The Drifters were formed in 1953 and still toured, but there have been a number of
changes in the group's personnel. Moore, a Selma, Ala., native, joined in 1954. He and
the entire group were fired four years later in a dispute with the group's manager. A
completely new group was formed and Moore was rehired in 1961 after a stint of
military service. He joined lead singer Rudy Lewis on such hits as "Up on The Roof''
and "On Broadway.''
When Lewis died in 1964, Moore became lead singer with "Under the Boardwalk,'' the
group's last big hit. When their American success declined in the 1970s, The Drifters
found popularity in Britain. Moore is survived by his wife, Jennifer, and three sons.
Funeral plans were not announced.
M I S S I N G ~ L I N K S
Graham
Inglis looks at Hawkwind...The Hawkwind mothership was launched in London (UK) in 1969 and is still flying today, nearly 30 years on, although there have been numerous crew changes along the way.
The official http://www.hawkwind.com site is back up (after an absence of several
months) and contains pictures, interviews and text. Where one goes to find out future
tour dates/venues I have yet to discover, though. The unofficial sites are diverse and
mainly American; for a band who only tour the US occasionally, Hawkwind seem to
have generated quite an interest over there, at least in cyberspace. Here's a varied
selection of what's around...
"Our legends tell we came from a seed..." http://enteract.com/~weil/golden_void/
Of particular interest is the "known set lists of Hawkwind concerts" based on
"Bernhard Pospiech's most excellent tape database". The list gives dates but not
venue, unfortunately. Other HW information: gig list, history, albums & videos,
lyrics, images, interviews & reviews, friends & relations. Last updated June 4, 1998.
"Sick of politicians, harassment and laws..." http://www.ametro.net/~davidg59/
David Graham's Hawkworld is described as "the ultimate Southern website on
pyschedelic space-rockers" and, as well as having done a mix of HW info, he has
recorded an album of covers of some of their trax. He includes 4 sample clips (short
wav files) on his site and I must say I do like his rendition of "Assault & Battery"
(click "Golden Void" to hear the intro, if you go there).
"The nagging choirs of memory..." http://www.thing.de/projekte/future/calhw.htm
Collab-Relations present an entertaining potted history of Bob Calvert and HW, with
pictures. Calvert was a prime influence on HW in the early 70s and returned in 1976,
staying until the almost-demise of the band in 1977-78 (the strange Sonic Assassins /
Hawklords phase).
"We were born to go as far as we can fly..."
http://www.roadsideamerica.com/rant/hawkwind.html
This site is for US drivers, a sort of "weird things on the road" guide. They rate HW as
drivers'music, saying "Even today, this 70's British 'space rock' band continues to
feed devoted fans a steady diet of Lost-In-Space lyrics, guitar feedback and synth
noodling," and, "In recent years, one of us has insisted that there is a correlation
between playing the Hawkwind tapes and being pulled over for speeding by law
enforcement officers. Subsequent tests have been inconclusive..." Mmmmm.
"Has the world gone mad or is it me?" http://enteract.com/~weil/golden_void/
Another odds-and-sods HW site, this one includes a page of "Live Tracks on
Hawkwind Albums" - a list of the dates and places where live tracks on albums where
recorded, and whether the album is legitimate or a bootleg. This list is patchy and
intriguing... eg "Business Trip" (Nov 1993) was apparently recorded at Hastings (UK)
and is on a 'legitimate' album. Never heard of it myself, but there you go...
"The moon that shines its beam so bright..."
http://www.pcmicro.com.au/~sonique/Hawkwind/
A good site with a gallery, discography, interviews, gig reviews, sales, and many links
to related sites. Due to move to another location soon.
P R I C K ~ U P ~ Y O U R ~ E A R S -T H E ~ I S M O ~ F E A T U R E
CARRIE - PERVERTS OF POP
REVIEW: Carrie "Fear of Sound" (Island 8069/524 510-2) ****
Rumours were rife last week, after a UK Teletext article that Island are about to drop
this group, as part of a general downsizing of the British record industry.If this is true,
Island will be acting like prize twats as this is an excellent band.
The first track on this album, `Molly`, is the finest song that I have ever come across
for single handed excercise. This excerpt will illustrate what I mean:
"She makes me lick her feet/If they`re not squeaky clean/
she hits me again/Molly hits like a man"
For a self confessed foot fetishist and sub-pervert these lyrics are heaven. Its hard to
imagine the pussies at Radio One playing it don`t you agree? An absolute must.
Siggsworthy Crags.
THE PRESS RELEASE
Taking their name from Brian De Palmas` seminal 70`s horror film (with Sissy Spacek as the
eponymous anti-heroine), Carrie splash down somewhere between `Jane's Addiction` and the
`Beach Boys` with songs that are more Hunter S. Thompson than Stephen King.
*** Editor`s note: Fine by us, because the good Doctor is cool, and Stephen King is
shite
They have already earned ecstatic reviews, a growing number of fans, fond of their
warped lyrics and dark-edged pop anthems, and unleashed one major chart monster in
the shape of "Molly" - a twisted tale of domination rapidly becoming a 'Loll' for the '90s.
Formed just over a year aso, the group came together from all four corners of the
earth when Connecticut-born singer, guitarist and main songwriter Steve Ludwin and Australian drummer Bruce Pawsey , began recording with ex-EMF bassist Zac Foley. The quartet was recently completed by Guitarist, Dennis Dicker.
Carrie entice you into their unsavoury world view with melodies that melt in the mouth
compressed into an intense, three minute shock:
"A lot of bands are influenced by the Beach Boys, but we're more schizophrenic and
erratic," says Ludwin. "If one song can sound like Simon & Garfunkel and the next like
Black flag, that's great."
Fuelled by Ludwin's perverse imagination, Carrie take sweet harmonies and Brill
Building-catchiness, throw them in an industrial vat with off-kilter lyrics, then fuck it all
up with fuzz pedals. "California screaming"' is the sound of white trash dreaming as
played by a surfed-up REM; "Molly" is a power-pop Gem; "Breath Underwater" a
demented opium vision brought to life on crazy guitars; "Sugar Fan" a paean to substance
abuse, buzzing with distortion. In short, Carrie`s altered-state pop is just on the right side
of insanity.
"We're trying to pervert youth without being like Marilyn Manson," promises Steve. "I
really identify with Carrie (the movie) and that's how we feel as a band. We're picked on
but we're going to have this power and mash things up some day."
The group began their tack by spending last summer recording their debut album
(released on 5th October) with producer Ted "That'll Do" Nicely (Girls Against Boys;
Fugazi).
T H E ~ G O O D, ~ T H E ~ B A D ~ A N D ~ T H E ~ U N L I S T E N A B L E
(CD REVIEWS)
***** Fuck-off Brilliant
Kiss Animalize 558 859-2 Mercury *
**** Pretty damn Good
*** Average but no Cigar, Mr President
** Could do better
* Shite
Kiss Lick it up 558 858-2 Mercury *
Kiss Crazy nights 558 861-2 Mercury *
Kiss Asylum 558 860-2 Mercury *
The perceptive among you might be asking why I'm reviewing four albums in one
section. The answer is quite simple, they`re all essentially the same record.You can
play the third track from `Asylum` and the sixth track from `Lick it up` and not be
able to tell the difference.
When Kiss were glam they had a certain appeal, a bit like downmarket clones of Alice
Cooper but without the humour or panache. Now they've gone "serious" and
eschewed their makeup and costumes they are about as interesting as Rick Astley.
This is heay metal for wimps who can't cope with Led Zeppelin or Black Sabbath. It's
like soft porn, why bother? Afficianados hate it, and so does the layman.
One piece of fun you can have with with these odious disks (apart from setting light to
them and capering round and round them shreiking gleefully) is to play "find the
stupidest lyrics".
Hours of fun for all the family can be had with this side splitting jape. Here are a few
examples:
1. "Well it's out of the fryin` pan and into the fire
You bent over baby and let me be the driver"
2. "I caught the tail of a hurricane
And I`ve never been the same
I went out on a limb
Gotcha under my skin"
3. "I`m gonna bang,bang you
I'll shoot you down with my love gun baby"
4. "Girl I`m gonna treat you right
Well goodness sakes, my snake`s alive
And he`s ready to bite"
At least 'Spinal Tap' were only kidding. Siggsworthy Craggs
Billy Ray Cyrus Shot full of love
The late, great American stand up comedian Bill Hicks (immortalised in a recent issue
of "Preacher" comic had a novle idea for a new T.V show. It was called "Let`s hunt
and kill Billy Ray Cyrus". I`m sure, had he lived, the show would have been a
runnaway sucsess. I would have been the first contestant on it! When is someone
going to act to solve "the country & western problem". They come over here, take our
jobs, sleep with our women, and they breed like rabbits. It`s high time decent folk
clanned together to put a stop to this and drive these vermin from the face of the Earth
forever! Siggsworthy Craggs
Ruby Turner "Call me by my Name"
Most of the lyrics were co-written by her... why's she want to be called by her name,
though: what's wrong with 'oi you'? Anyway, pleasant enough soul, and a good
voice. I'm not a soul fan but I'd say it's fine for easy listening if you've got a
hangover or want to mellow out a suspicious lass you've lured back to the bottle-strewn rubbish tip you call your apartment. - Slutto
John Wetton "Tokyo 1997 Live"
I find the sound of this band pretty bland, which surprises me, given Wetton's musical
pedigree, including working with Rick Wakeman, and playing bass with Roxy Music
- and King Crimson during a very effective phase of theirs. If I'm charitable I'll call it
mellow rock. Mediocre and clapped-out if I'm honest. I mean, bloody hell, one of the
tracks is a drum solo: rather passé these days, to say the least. If this is how they
sound live, god knows what they're like in the studio. Fans of Wetton might like to
know there's a fan site on Geocities (in the "Paris" sector), by the way. - Slutto
T W I T C H Y ' S ~ D I T C H
Thoughts on life and music from Twitchy the Tramp in his tawdry little ditch
There has been much worry of recent amongst trampkind about the future of tramps.
We folk of the road are fast becoming an endangered species. What with all the do-gooders and social workers and rehabilitation schemes, tramps are becoming a thing
of the past.
Thankfully the authorities have acted to prevent us diappearing by initiating a Tramp
Youth Training Scheme. This involves tramps working together with Schools Careers
Officers to make tramphood an appealing career option. I have just come back from a
nationwide tour of the country`s seats of learning where I have been extolling the
virtues of a life of filth. Many youngsters were won over by my silver tongue and have
chosen this glamorous lifestyle.
I have taken on a YTS tramp. A graduate from Hartshill School, Nuneaton, Jeremy
Carshalton-Smythe has joined the course.
Firstly we needed to find him a name as Jeremy doesn`t exactly scream "Tramp"!
After due consideration we settled on "Rootling Jezza". Then we needed to find him
some suitable clothes. Jezza looked like a prince decked out in a mismatched pair of
elderly trainers, tatty pyjama bottoms, a mouldy donkey jacket, and a mildewed
turquoise balaclava. The most difficult part of tramp training is adapting a normal
person`s stomach to tramp tucker or gutter fare. The Editors of ISMO wouldn`t let me
go into detail about what tramps eat in case some of you attempt to read this whilst
eating. Suffice to say, tramps eat substances normal people would never dream of
eating.
Currently we are working on a modus operandi for young Jezza. he is doing a lot of
work with dead rats and has already picked up some disgusting tricks. "Rootling
Jezza" shows a lot of promise in this field and should make a first rate tramp...
B O O K S H E L F
"The Lonesome Death of Oyster Boy and other stories"
by Tim Burton (Faber & Faber)Imagine if Roald Dahl had not been a nice old man. Imagine if he had been born a
disgusting freak that so appalled his parents that they kept him locked away in a secret
room with a heavily bolted oak door. As the mutant thing grew, Ma and Pa fed him on
hapless travellers, the homeless and the lost.
One night, however, they become careles, and young Roald escapes. His "differences"
engulfing and digesting his screaming forebears. Slithering around the house leaving
trails of slime and pools of rank saliva, he comes upon a pen and starts to write.
This book is what he would have written.
It is a collection of poems about freakish deformed children and their attempts to be
accepted. It includes tales of cannibalism and infanticide, and has such gems as
"Mummy Boy", "Roy the Toxic Boy", and "Voodoo Girl".
Here is an example:
"Life isn`t easy for the pincushion queen,
when she sits on her throne and pins push through her spleen"...
This fantastic cavalcade is brought to us by Tim Burton, the twisted genius film
director behind such movies as "the Nightmare before Christmas" and "Beetlejuice".
So good, I almost forgave him for the appalling travesty he made of the first two
batman films. Siggsworthy Craggs.
COMING SOON......
God knows. It all depends what the New Year brings, but we already have stuff
planned on Athenrye, Maddy Prior, Prince, Portishead, Madder Rose and Jon Downes
and the Amphibians from Outer Space (now THERE`S a surprise).
...AND WHY THE HELL NOT?
Since we began in Cyberspace we have been reprinting a potted history of this project
since its roots as a badly photocopied fanzine thingy a decade ago. If you still want to
read this stuff you can access it thru this web-site. If you are heartily sick of it (as we
are) you don`t have to.
ISMO MAGAZINE IS, AND WILL REMAIN FREE. HOWEVER OFFERS OF
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