ONLY FOOLS AND GOATSUCKERS: the Fascinating New Book from Jonathan Downes

NICK REDFERN`S REVIEW from the December issue of UFO MAGAZINE

Tim Good is not the only person to bring out a new book that focuses on Puerto Rico's most fearsome resident, the Chupacabras. My old mate, the Lord of Lard, or Jon Downes as he's known to friends and enemies alike, has his own title on the shelves too. In 1998 Jon travelled out to Puerto Rico with a Channel 4 TV crew to make a one-hour television documentary about, essentially, a fat geezer and his sidekick chasing monsters. And that, broadly, is what Only Fools and Goat-Suckers is about too! As with all of Jon's books, this is a fabulous Hunter S. Thompson-style romp that sees Jon and his buddy Graham careering drunkenly around Puerto Rico, having scrapes with the law and falling headlong into various Indiana Jones-style adventures as they seek out the blood-sucking beast of the island. Funnily enough, this is much like what happens when Jon and I get together too! But the book (that runs to an impressive couple of hundred pages) does more than simply chronicle the alcohol intake of a man who is the spitting image of 8 Ace from Viz magazine.

Incredibly, Jon actually succeeds in getting on the trail of the Chupacabras and tracks down numerous witnesses to the beast's antics - including police officers, the local populace and others - and details how he came face to face with the creature's handiwork and even took part in the autopsy of an unfortunate victim of the goat-sucker him/her/itself. How many people can say that? If you are without a sense of humour you will doubtless consider this book to be offensive rubbish. If like me, however, you enjoy reading about eccentric English people chasing monsters and having a damned good time in the process (while getting Channel 4 to pay for it too - brilliant!) then I would urge you to pick up a copy of Only Fools And Goat-Suckers at the earliest opportunity. If you want to be partly responsible for funding Jon's next 'expedition' and putting yet more strain on his well-worn and thoroughly pickled liver, bung a cheque in the mail payable to Jon Downes at 15 Holne Court, Exwick, Exeter, EX4 2NA. A copy of the cover of this title was sadly unavailable at the time of going to press, but Jon tells me that it will be up to his usual standards - be afraid, be very afraid… STAR RATING: * * * *

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