1 Nov 98

THE ISMO FEATURE:


You can't get across if you are Spurious...

THE NAB TWINS

and

THE ROTTENTROLLS


AN ISMO EXCLUSIVE...

John Landau, a once respected journalist for US music rag 'Rolling Stone' once made a complete prat of himself by uttering the immortal lines: "I have seen the future of Rock and Roll and its name is Bruce Springsteen."

That was the end of the old fool`s journalistic career - he ended up having to manage the career of "the future of Rock and Roll" and look what happened to him!

The last time I saw Brucie he was in a remote valley in Yorkshire being taught martial arts by a sheep......

.....but that is another story!

The only upshot being that ever since no music journo has dared proclaim that HE has seen the future of Rock and Roll because they are afraid of looking like complete Berks.

However the question remains. Was Bruce Springsteen the future of Rock and Roll?

Of course he wasn`t, for I HAVE seen the future of Rock and Roll and its name is CATTLEGRID!

Fronted by the notorious NAB TWINS and featuring YOCKENTHWAITE on coconut, KING ROGER on Keyboards ASKRIGG on guitar and the three incredibly saucy GRIDETTES on backing vox, this is a band to be reckoned with. In years to come generations of eager students working hard on their music GCSEs will dissect lyrics like:

When the lights go out everybody starts to shout
when the Nab Twins enter the room,
Guys look at their feet, they can`t compete,
as their girlfriends start to swoon"

and will realise that they are face to face with pure, unadulterated genius. Could the massively overrated OASIS have come up with a couplet like:

Cross The Grid
Cross The Grid
(Black tie, black shades, girls go furious)
Cross the Grid
Cross the Grid
You can`t get across if you are spurious!

Could they Pig?

ISMO SAYS RELEASE "cross the grid" AS A SINGLE. It makes "Bittersweet Symphony" seem like a bunch of whingeing pansies ripping off old Rolling Stones Riffs...

Single of the Week? More like Single of the Decade! - Atilla The Hen.

(A case of "I've seen the future and it's Rotten" ? - Slutto...)


First CD Single (cat. no. HLC 14) contains:
THE ROTTENTROLLS MARCH (RADIO EDIT) 3'07"
THE ROTTENTROLLS MARCH (THE ORIGINAL MIX) 4'05"
THE ROTTENTROLLS MARCH (ORIGINAL TV THEME) 1'26"

Second CD Single (cat. no HLCX 14) contains:
THE ROTTENTROLLS MARCH (NAB TWINS RADICAL DANCE REMIX) 6'43"
THE ROTTENTROLLS MARCH (NAB TWINS BEAT MIX) 6'48"
THE ROTTENTROLLS MARCH (RADIO EDIT) 3'07"

THE OFFICIAL BIOGRAPHY

The Nab Twins: The most teenage of the Rottentrolls.

Have been going through an irritating phase for the last two hundred years. Lounge around listening to loud music, practice for their appalling rock group "Cattle Grid", and like devising secret hand gestures. Favourite sayings "Outrageous" and "Radical" and then falling around laughing whilst everyone else sighs.

THE PRESS RELEASE

The Hit Label announces the signing of teen sensations The Nab Twins,, successful television stars from CITV`s Rottentrolls programme - currently enjoying a 14 week run until the end of the year on Wedensdays @ 4.25 p.m. ~ The twins and their band Cattle Grid, were discovered and signed on the spot at the warm-up gig of the infamous Ronsters Of Mock Festival. Legendary names from the world of A&R including Dodgy Aim, Dick Robbins and Boris Oversight had travelled up from London on the No 63 Bus to see the Twins perform! Chris Knight of the Mystery of Sound/Hit Label Imprint has been quoted as saying that they are the logical successors to The Prodigy.

'The lads were too big for one show', enthused Gruff Woodwind. 'There has been an extraordinary response from that valuable part of the youth 'market that has time on their hands, finishes work around four o'clock and then slops about in front of the telly wanting a good laugh. And, University Students, as well as kids love it too?'

The Nab Twins' fantastic remix of the single 'The Rottentrolls March' is a dance track and any resemblance to any other dance is purely intentional. It`s refreshing in this day and age to hear a band admit to the fact that their major influence is usually the last record they heard. 'Oh yeah,' says Guitarist Small Nab. 'One man`s sampling is another man's outright theft due to a fundamental absence of imagination, and we've always been quite happy to be in the latter category.'

Although technically puppets The Nab Twins aren't emotionally phased by their change of medium. 'Basically if we leave the show we'll go totally limp, and we need someone`s hand up us to put words in our mouths... No, I think we'll feel very much at home in the music industry.'


The Official Rottentrolls Website:
http://welcome.to/rottentrolls/


THE COMPETITION

Win a set of the two CD singles by being one of the first six people to tell us the name of the ancient Martial Art studied by The Nab twins` co-star Commander Harris.....